almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

So I’m currently hunting down a Calm-natured Heatran. If you have one you’re willing to trade, please shoot me an ask and we can potentially work out a deal. Thank you!

PKMNWish’s IV Breeding Guide by Kyoufuu

pkmnwish:

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Breeding for Individual Values (henceforth IVs) takes time and effort, but is easy to go about doing. IV breeding will require use of at least these sources:

  • A perfect or near-perfect IV Pokémon (preferably Ditto)
  • The species of Pokemon you want to breed
  • A Destiny Knot
  • An Everstone
  • Access to Kiloude City
  • A Pokémon with Magma Armor or Flame Body

I wouldn’t advise trying to breed for IVs until you have at least beaten the main story as you will have minimal access to any of these requirements in most scenarios. Anyway…

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We all know the various ways of obtaining Pokémon: Catching, trading, going to the Orre region to steal from trainers, etc. But what about those perfect Ditto? Ditto caught in the Friend Safari automatically have 2 perfect IVs by default in random stats at least. But what about getting a 5IV or 6IV Ditto? Flawless IV Pokémon are very VERY rare to comeby in the wild, but that’s why we have this magical websites like Tumblr or Gamefaqs.

You could make some really odd, hat-backwards offers in search of a 6IV Ditto, but it’ll be worth it in the long run if you’re into competitive battling or breeding for other competitive battlers. If you’re lucky, you might just have someone giving them away or someone willing to clone more off for you. Whatever works! Just make sure you’re careful with who you’re trading with; if something seems fishy, it probably is! And now that you have your Pokémon ready, it’s time for…

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Time to get the items right? Yes. You’re going to want a Destiny Knot as it takes 5 IVs from stats chosen randomly from both parents and spreads them to the children. You’re also going to want an Everstone as it spreads the nature of the parent holding it to the children. But where do you get them?

You can get the Destiny Knot in the hotel inside of Cyllage City from a maid on the second floor of the building. As for the Everstone, you may obtain it from a scientist inside of a house northwest of the Pokémon Center in Geosenge Town. And with your items in bag, you’re ready for the fun part!

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Now you want to put the Pokémon with the items into the daycare and play some Marvin Gaye while you roll around on your bicycle while the magic happens. It doesn’t matter which Pokémon is holding the Destiny Knot, but if one of the parents has the nature you desire, that parent should hold the everstone as it will pass the nature 100% of the time. If neither parent has the nature you want, you should focus on getting that before anything. (Or you could breed freestyle! Don’t let the man bring you down! Row row, fight the power!)

Now while the two Pokémon are using Wrap and Body Slam, you need to roll around on your bicycle and hope the two create a little Egg Bomb. Ah, the miracles of life. Once you have your egg, bike around to hatch it. You can speed this process up by using O-Powers or by having a Pokémon with the abilities Flame Body or Magma Armor in your party. I would recommend a Talonflame or a Volcarona for this job as they can also use fly if you have other places to be in-game. BUT THAT’S JUST ME. Go rollin’ around and after a while, boom! The egg hatches and bam! You have a baby. Congratulations, you’re a parent. The next step, luckily, is not making a college plan but instead having their stats checked out.
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Now take your Pokémon to Kiloude City. Inside the Pokémon Center, there will be a young man who will check your Pokémon’s IV stats. If he specifically mentions a stat and says “it simply can’t be beat,” then that stat has 31 IVs. You want him to say this in as many stats as possible, preferably 5 or 6. If none of your Pokémon have this, look at the one that has the most perfect stats, preferably in all the slots you want. (For example, if you have two 5IV Jolteon, but one of them has 31 IVs in Attack, you probably don’t want that one as Jolteon works better in Special Attack.) If neither one of them has the 5IVs you want or there are ones that are better than the others with none of them reaching 5IVs, you can take the one you like the best and replace it with the non-Ditto parent in the daycare and try again. And since inbreeding has no birth defects in Pokémon, I incest you do it, bahaha. I can’t believe I just said that, please don’t hurt me.

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… That’s literally it. Just repeat the process (from step 1 if breeding a new Pokémon, from step 3 if you already have all the Pokémon set) until it works. AND ONCE IT WORKS, VOILA. You have a 5IV Pokémon. Now you can either raise it, trade it away, or whatever. As for the ones that didn’t make the cut? Don’t release them. Put them in your bank. Wonder Trade them away to someone who may want them. Ask if there’s anyone on Tumblr who would like one; Pokémon is more than just stats and battling. Send that Pokémon to a good home. You probably don’t have 31IVs in all your stats and we love you all the same; treat your Pokémon the same way.

Thank you so much for checking out this guide. Now get out there and breed. Use those skills for breeding your own team, or perhaps consider joining PkmnWish. This has been kyoufuu and, once again, thank you.

Anonymous: 1, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25, 31, 38, 49, 51, 62, 76, 106, 119, 148, 150.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
- artemisthemanic

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
- Probably.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
- Yes. Very much so. Typically I’m only comfortable with other asexuals as they tend to be more understanding.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
- Probably curlicious03.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
- I don’t save my outbox, but it said something along the lines of “if you need to vent you’re always free to vent to me. And thanks for offering the same.”

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
- No.

15. What good thing happened this summer?
- EGGNOG.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
- Nope.

21. What are you bad habits?
- I smoke a lot. I dunno; ask the people that know me best and they can probably tell you more.

23. Do you have trust issues?
- To an extent, yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
- N/A

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
- Does hair count? Hair.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
- Yes.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
- Not to my knowledge.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?
- Constantly.

62. Been arrested? For what?
- Nope!

76. What colour is your underwear?
- Right now? Blue, probably.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
- I was going to say no… And then I remember there was someone a LONG time ago. That’s all I’m willing to say because holy shit there are a lot of questions.

119. Favourite book?
- Christopher Gardner’s The Pursuit of HappYness. Yes, with a Y and not an I.

148. What’s your favourite quote?
- It’s between “anger clouds the mind; turned inward, it is uncontrollable” and “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering” by Master Splinter and Yoda respectively. Yay, pop culture taking up space in my mind. I could’ve learned Latin, but noooooOooOOoOOOoo…

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
"All living things are classified as prokaryotic or eukaryotic."

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
4. Are you easy to get along with?
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
19. Do you like bubble baths?
20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are you bad habits?
22. Where would you like to travel?
23. Do you have trust issues?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
26. What do you do when you wake up?
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
30. Do you ever want to get married?
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
43. Do you smile at strangers?
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
46. What are you paranoid about?
47. Have you ever been high?
48. Have you ever been drunk?
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
53. Favourite makeup brand?
54. Favourite store?
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour?
57. Favourite food?
58. Last thing you ate?
59. First thing you ate this morning?
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
62. Been arrested? For what?
63. Ever been in love?
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
65. Are you hungry right now?
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
67. Facebook or Twitter?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
69. Are you watching tv right now?
70. Names of your bestfriends?
71. Craving something? What?
72. What colour are your towels?
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
75. Favourite animal?
76. What colour is your underwear?
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
80. What colour pants?
81. Favourite tv show?
82. Favourite movie?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
87. First person you talked to today?
88. Last person you talked to today?
89. Name a person you hate?
90. Name a person you love?
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
92. In a fight with someone?
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
95. Last movie you watched?
96. Favourite actress?
97. Favourite actor?
98. Do you tan a lot?
99. Have any pets?
100. How are you feeling?
101. Do you type fast?
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
103. Can you spell well?
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
108. What should you be doing?
109. Is something irritating you right now?
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
111. Do you have trust issues?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
113. What was your childhood nickname?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii?
116. Are you listening to music right now?
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
118. Do you like Chinese food?
119. Favourite book?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
121. Are you mean?
122. Is cheating ever okay?
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
125. Do you believe in true love?
126. Are you currently bored?
127. What makes you happy?
128. Would you change your name?
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
134. Can you count to one million?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
137. How tall are you?
138. Curly or Straight hair?
139. Brunette or Blonde?
140. Summer or Winter?
141. Night or Day?
142. Favourite month?
143. Are you a vegetarian?
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
145. Tea or Coffee?
146. Was today a good day?
147. Mars or Snickers?
148. What’s your favourite quote?
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  (via colemeister)

(Source: catscuddlingandyou)

Breeder Applicants

pkmnwish:

First, Thanks to those who applied to become a breeder here at PKMNWish! I will start messaging those who I would like to interview for the position. If you do not receive a message from me, that does not mean you were not qualified (in fact, almost everyone who applied met most of the qualifications), just others stood out to more. Again, you will receive a message from my personal blog. Thanks again guys! Truly appreciate it!

- Admin Yan

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